How to Maximize Your Time in College
Here’s an assignment for you.
Fill in the blank: “As a stressed-out college student, I wish I had more ____.”
If you’re anything like me, your answer was probably “time.” Or cash, or Ben & Jerry’s, or Netflix options, or friends … But I digress.
If you’re vigorously nodding your head in agreement, then you’ll be thrilled to know that I have discovered the secret to increasing your productivity levels by at least tenfold. There are goldmines of extra time scattered throughout the typical college student’s day. I’ve done the first step for you by locating these intervals; now all you have to do is strategically convert this unused time into activity, and you’ll be on your way to becoming a lean, mean success machine!
Waiting for the Elevator
Studies show that the average NYU student spends upwards of 10,000 hours waiting for elevators over the course of four years. Okay, by “studies,” I mean my own experience. Trust me, though — I’m good at estimating things. I once won a prize for guessing the number of jellybeans in a jar, and let me tell you, it was a pretty big jar.
Most students spend all that time staring anxiously at those lit-up floor numbers and calculating how many minutes late they’re going to be for class. This, however, is a poor strategy if you want to succeed in life. In order to get ahead of the crowd, you should be using this time to accomplish serious goals. Want to build a business, achieve Nirvana, or write the next great American novel? Do it in the lobby.
Stuck Behind a Row of People in the Hallway
If you live in the city, then this trick works with sidewalks, too. You know how some people just love to arrange themselves into a wedge formation when they’re in a narrow space, effectively blocking you from passing and forcing you to slow your pace to a Jabba-esque crawl? It’s like the physical equivalent of waiting for Windows 7 to load.
Well, fret no more, because these hours you usually spend grinding your teeth and silently cursing humanity can be put to good use: just channel that pent-up frustration into productive energy. It’s probably not the ideal situation in which to practice your instrument or rehearse a dance routine, but if you can read while you walk, you could potentially finish over 15 War and Peace-sized classics per year. Plus, a paperback copy of Infinite Jest is the perfect size and shape for fending off personal space invaders.
Waiting For a Bathroom Stall
All the ladies in the house will especially relate to this one. I’m constantly amazed by how long people can spend in a public bathroom. Once they get in that stall, they occupy it Fort Armistead-style, taking their sweet time while the rest of us are lined up outside doing the need-to-pee dance.
Annoying as they are, these bathroom stall tenants are actually doing you a huge favor. When you desperately need to relieve yourself, it gives you an overall sense of urgency that’s perfect for getting things accomplished quickly. The superhuman information-processing speed you gain when your bladder is on the verge of exploding makes this is a great opportunity to become fluent in Mandarin or memorize the complete works of Shakespeare.
Loading Websites on a School Computer
Do your college’s computers resemble artifacts from the Stone Age? Have you spent more time than you’d like to acknowledge staring into the abyss of the starting screen? Does the interval between clicking on a link and having access to the webpage often involve gazing into the distance, lost in intense and depressing reflections on your own mortality?
If the Dell gods don’t favor you, don’t worry: the productivity gods will.
While the antediluvian relic in front of you struggles to wake from its deep, years-long slumber and remember that it’s a computer in the first place, you can be developing major skills and achieving your life’s work. Of course, any undertaking that requires a computer kind of defeats the purpose of this section, so mastering JavaScript isn’t really an option here.
Choose instead to paint your magnum opus or write an award-winning screenplay. You could even get cracking on your autobiography! Sure, it’s still decades too early to complete it, but hey. You’ve got time.